This year, I did something that I hopefully won't regret. I got you something. I was looking for catharsis from what happened last year. A small tinge of hope for a change of heart perhaps. All ideas that from practical viewpoint, from a strategical viewpoint are completely ridiculous ideas. Alas, if the heart was only logical.
I hope you enjoy the gift. I hope you like it. It's something fun to do, when you're with someone, just to pass the time and enjoy life. I hope you use it and don't throw it away immediately. I hope you read the letter, after all, that was the whole point of this charade. I hope you don't repel in digust, I hope you don't overreact, I hope you don't avoid me forever. I just wanted you to know perhaps. So I hope you write back, then I can have a peaceful mind and a calm heart.
Perhaps, perhaps, I can move on.
Today, I decided to lie in bed as long as possible. The day wasn't worth my attending. What ever needed to be done could wait until tomorrow. I didn't achieve that though. Some friends banged on my door at a quarter to four. Nice friends.
I shall mope around for a bit. It's difficult to let go, at least for me, I'm so stubborn, I can never let go of anything. I hoard things, that's why my room is cluttered. I have my entire life in boxes in cupboards and on my shelves. A little bit here and a little bit there. I don't need a diary, these things remind me of everything.
Maybe tomorrow I shall go write some poems. :/
I hate this day.
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