Leadership.

'Leadership is a relationship.' -Kouzer and Posner

At the end of October, I started driving course. There were four of us transport supervisors, and hence we were asked to be the ICs of the group by the course commander. The two official ICs were the higher ranked, and the two of us were to help them. It was no easy task.

You must understand something about drivers to appreciate the situation we were in. To quote my friend Bowen, 'they're a really interesting bunch of people, who will be all over the place until someone with rank tries to boss them around, then they get together and gang up on that person.' It is already difficult for someone with rank to get them to complete their tasks, which were by no means difficult: falling in at the appropriate time to account for the strength, can you imagine the mountain awaiting the poor soul who had no rank trying to achieve this? That poor soul was me.

I am lucky to blessed with some leadership qualities, I carry presence, I can wield influence and I am decisive. However that does not win over everyone. Most of the my coursemates were reasonable and would listen, however there were always the GTs and the bengs to ruin the party. They're naturally loud, outspoken and don't like to be pushed around or to receive instructions from those they have no respect for. I was in trouble from the first week.

To but it bluntly, I would be giving out the routine orders for the evening and one joker would shout out 'yes private!' to everything I said, this was followed by a chorus of laughter. National Slaves are a rowdy bunch, however this doesn't bowl for me, it was a clear sign of disrespect and contempt. It was this same joker, F, that would cause me much grief for many a very long time.

F was an interesting character, he was short, loud and had natural leadership abilities and probably a Napolean's complex, but he hated being told what to do. The other two got this sort of treatment as well, though to a lesser extent than me. The last IC didn't get much because he kept a low profile and is rather quiet. Disadvantages of being tall and big. Of course F wasn't the only one. There were other's too who had grown up in similar environs and taught to question authority.

It didn't help that I was enveloped in my pride and didn't want to have anything to do with them. Thankfully, God turned that around and I got to know my coursemates better and became friends with many of them. Moreover there were two of my coursemates who were getting bullied and very badly due to their seemingly lower intelligence. I actually think one of them was an undiagnosed autistic. I was definitely off to a bad start.

However, I am thankful that God worked his ways through me and for helping me to uphold my values, placing their welfare first and being inclusive. I hope I achieved what he wanted of me...at least somewhat. I didn't realize it at that time, particularly because I was living the moment and busy steering people away from bullying the two poor sods. Slowly bit by bit, through listening to them, to rowdy and raucous trouble-making ones, I managed to connect with them in someway. I don't know how I did it, and I can only attribute it to God's grace and mercy upon poor me. I will never be best friends with them and never connect with them on an intellectual level, but their stories about their lives and their aspirations touched me. One of them, S, who is a gangster with a good heart, has a pregnant girlfriend who he was going to marry and he was signing on. Several more had aspirations to further their studies, which I am very glad to hear. Education is something I hold very dear.

I suppose they saw that I was doing my job properly. I was fair, while making sure they were taking care of. Maybe because they got to know me better. I don't know exactly, but it was like magic, as the weeks went by slowly and steadily, they became less rowdy during the routine orders and much more manageable. I was pleasantly surprised when some of these rowdy people defended me when they were forced to fall in again outside the cook house one morning due to the inefficaciousness of the duty officer. The IC is the fall guy for which all anger is projected upon in times when inefficiency causes excessive waiting and frustration.

Slowly but surely, they all fell into place until there was only F left. I think that was the most miraculous conversion. It was amazing that it happened and I still cannot fathom why. The very week that it occured, he insolently told the other quiet IC, 'Why should I listen to him? He's only a private like me.'

'But he's going to be a sergeant. You should give him some respect'

'No. At least corporal I can understand. But he's just a private, why should I respect him?'

I pretended to ignore them, but the words stung me deeply inside. I may not have made either command school, but I went through the supervisor course, I went outfield, I had to endure the idiocy of warrants for 2 months, I suffered. Yet, here was this fellow, straight out of BMT. I had gone through everything he did and more. It had to have counted for something. I resolved to ignore him for the rest of course.

Clearly, I wasn't ready for what would happen two days later. I've spent some time actually thinking about were the change was, but this is the only small morsel that makes sense. We were both walking to the adjacent building for our parking practice together. He, having just moved into the tonner stage, and me waiting for my test. I only recall asking him how the course was going and gave him a little advice on parking. But that day he was most well behaved! And the changes continued, from then on he helped me rope in his gang during roll call and he's never stopped encouraging me to pass my driving test or being friendly. It's a most wonderful change from the hyper little kid.

If that really is the turning point, and this is me being uncharacteristically unscientific, it just goes to show the power of connecting. A simple thing such as taking an interest in other people's lives can change their impression of you so much. I think the entire time that I had as IC of this group has more than reinforced that with me. A simple question and some sincere genuine concern and an impartial listening ear can really brighten up people's lives. It's really God's grace that I've been blessed with the ability to connect with people at least on a basal level, even if I might not be able to go deeper(which I'm working on!), it's more than enough.

Ironically, half way into the course, I met with someone whom I was supposed to collaborate with on the leadership project for church for lunch. This project ultimately crashed due to the meeting and I haven't resolved any of the issues yet(please pray for me!). During the meeting, he laid down some ground rules about our working relationship, it amused me that he noted that he talked to some people and they told him I would be difficult to work with and that I had poor people skills. I don't doubt that in the past this may have been true, but I was pretty disgruntled. Amusingly, a week later, F become my friend.