Death.

A little poem reminder of the things to come this week.

Death.
Emily Dickinson

Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality.

We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labor, and my leisure too,
For his civility.

We passed the school, where children strove
At recess, in the ring;
We passed the fields of gazing grain,
We passed the setting sun.

Or rather, he passed us;
The dews grew quivering and chill,
For only gossamer my gown,
My tippet only tulle.

We paused before a house that seemed
A swelling of the ground;
The roof was scarcely visible,
The cornice but a mound.

Since then 'tis centuries, and yet each
Feels shorter than the day
I first surmised the horses' heads
Were toward eternity.

Advent is coming. behold.

Do you ever feel like you're not real Christian?

I should be sleeping now, but I can't sleep. I have quite a few things on my mind, needless to say one of those things has become the title of this blog. Now, I've never encountered such a question before until about two weeks ago, when I sat down for a bible study. 'Do you ever feel like you're not a real Christian?'

Needless to say, I was stumped. I'll just go straight out and say it. What the brontosaurus does that mean?! Well, that's what ran through my head colourfully as fast as brontosauri ran, if they could run. How does one be Christian and not feel like a real Christian? What is a real Christian? So, it turns out, that what the question actually meant, according to the facilitator was, having you ever committed such a grave sin that you've felt that you aren't a Christian anymore.

Well, now that he put it that way....well, it almost all made sense. Almost. I guess, I've personally never doubted my identity as a 'real' Christian. If anyone needed proof that I was a real Christian, I had my baptismal and confirmation certificates to prove it. Signed and seal with the Holy Ghost! It doesn't get any better than that. However, if you asked me if I ever felt like a 'good' Christian. Well, the answer is not as clear, maybe, but I probably am not most of the time. I might be religious, but I'm far from Holy.

I find it very strange that protestants can have this idea of not feeling like a real Christian. This idea that sin tears you away from the promises of baptismal, the indelible seal of the Holy Ghost, forever supernaturally marked upon your soul by the very Almighty God who created you. Though, some of them downplay the importance of baptism, some never receive it, even though it's in the bible. So, what makes a real Christian?

Simply put, what makes us Christian is really that indelible mark of baptism. It is the gift of grace that from God that allows to be imbued with his spirit and to given the chance to discover him, and to have that faith. It’s a gift that God free chooses to give and that we choose to accept. No one chooses God, do decides to take Jesus as his personal saviour and lord. It is Christ who chooses you and calls you. And, when we answer that call through our baptism that we become Christians and are admitted into that great family in heaven who will never abandon us in life or death.

I suppose, however, that there is this supposed ideal of being Christian that one has live up to. This ideal generalises that Christians should be virtuous, charitable, kind, patient, and loving. To be a Bl. Mother Teresa of Calcutta, or Bl. Pope John Paul II to everyone. Essentially, while the modern world condemns Christians, they expect them to be really good human beings, and well, they aren't wrong for having such high expectations. After all, the call to be Christian is certainly more than a mere figure of identity, or a paper cert acknowledging the occurrence of some ritual, no, it's far more. It is a call to love and serve God with complete obedience and humility to His divine will. You have to feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, take in the stranger, visit the sick and imprisoned (Matt 25:31-46). And that's only one lesson, there are ton from everything on loving your enemies (Matt 5:44), to forgive and keep forgiving(Matt 18:22), to giving up everything and eschewing worldly pleasures (Matt 19:21), to getting insulted and hated for God(Mark 13:13/John 15:18). It is essentially to be completely Christ-like in life and is certainly not an easy one. (Go on, think of the person you hate the most and say I am going to love him, and tell me you think it's easy.)

Hence, because of these great people (noticed how I used two saints as examples), there certainly is a high standard to live up to! After all, our faith manifests in the work that we do and we see that in how St James remonstrates us in his letter that 'What shall it profit...if a man say he hath faith, but hath not works? Shall faith save him?' (James 2:14). Thus, there certainly is an ideal for a Christian to live up to. And, the saints are great examples of that ideal, after all, they strove to love God with all their heart and to live their lives with heroic virtue, and so, represent a semblance of that ideality. However, there is one person in the whole of creation who completely fulfills that ideality, and to us is the greatest example and the greatest saint of all and that is Our Lady and our heavenly mother, Mary. Through her obedience to God, we have attained the Saviour of the World.

Yet, while we strive for ideality, there is always the reality of the situation, we are fallen people, and thus we fall into sin, time and time again. Even Our Lady could not do it alone, She stayed pure and immaculate because God filled Her up to the brim with His grace, and so He too gives us his grace to avoid sin when we ask for it. In fact, more than just his grace, he has given us the sacrament of confession when we still fall, so that we may return to him, and to admit and take responsibility of our sins and through that, we receive his forgiveness and absolution.

And that is the reality of being Christian. We all fall because and we need the humility to accept that we fall, because we are human. We are not perfect, though we must strive to be good, we still will fall. And when we sin, we need to ask God to forgive us, and He will, hence the sacramental confession.

St Peter Julian Eymard says, 'He loves, He hopes, He waits. If He came down on our altars on certain days only, some sinner, on being moved to repentance, might have to look for Him, and not finding Him, might have to wait. Our Lord prefers to wait Himself for the sinner for years rather than keep him waiting one instant.' Like the Father who spent all his days just waiting and watching for the return of His prodigal son, so he waits for us! and how comforting to hear those words,

'God the Father, through the death and ressurexion of His Son, has reconciled the world to Himself and sent the Holy Spirit for the forgiveness of sins. Through the ministry of the Church, may he give you pardon and peace. And, I absolve you from your sins, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.'

O what great comfort! For I know, truly, that through the words of my confessor, and the authority that Christ gave to him when He commissioned the apostles, that 'if you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained (Jn 20:23), I am forgiven of all my sins!

Perhaps, this is why if one is understands the faith sufficiently, one will remember that it is true baptism that one is a Christian. A Christian falls, but stands up again, repents, seeks the forgiveness of the Lord, and does penance. There is no sin too big that God cannot forgive, and there is never any sin that God does not want to forgive, only as long as we ask for it.

'However awkward confession may be, it is the decisive place where one experiences anew the freshness of the Gospel, where one is reborn. There we also learn to blow away our pangs of conscience, just as a child blows a falling autumn leaf. There we find the happiness of God, the dawn of perfect joy.' Br Roger Schutz

'After a fall, stand up again right away! Do not leave sin in your heart for even a moment!' - St John Vianney

'Love Jesus! Have no fear! Even if you had committed all the sins in the world, Jesus repeats these words to you: Your many sins are forgiven, because you have loved much.' - St Padre Pio

I go to a non-denominational church every Sunday.

Hello! My name is David and I am a non-denominational Christian, and I go to a non-denominational church. Yes, it’s absolutely true! Perhaps, if I may, my dear reader, you would permit me a chance to talk a little about my Church and her history?

My Church was started in the 30s. It’s a relatively new church, in the history of the world that is. I should specify, my church was started in 33 A.D., somewhere in Jerusalem, by a man named Jesus Christ, who as it turns out, was also God! It was a great historical event that was chronicled in the bible by the evangelist and apostle St Matthew; see Matt 16:18. God also promised that no matter what happens the Church would never fall, then he commissioned his apostles to lead the Church and sent them His Holy Spirit to guide them in their divine commissions (Acts 2). Having a church started by God himself is kinda special…actually, really special.

I guess you could say that we were one of the first, if not the first non-denominational Church ever in the world. The first twelve leaders of my church took in everyone. They never cared or discriminated against slaves or emperors, the poor and the aristocracy, pagan or Jew, man or woman, white or black, a prostitute or soldier. They especially loved to take in sinners, oh how they love those sinners especially. They also looove to forgive sins through the power invested in them by Christ. They love to turn sinners into saints.

They only had three criteria for joining really, to ‘love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind and all your soul’, and to ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ and to understand what that completely meant. They were kinda slack on the first two criteria, because they knew it would be very difficult to follow, so they worked their bestest to help people achieve the third one as much as possible before letting them in. See, they had to be a bit prudent about letting people in, because in that time, if you joined this church, you might lose your life. Anyway, despite all that, the small tiny church did thrive and grow. Nowadays, they still teach people to achieve the third criteria, and we are still growing.

That said, for the first few hundred years they were aggressively pursued and persecuted, with many being put to death, under Nero and then Diocletian and it was only when St Constantine the Great, after the influence of his great mother, St Helena, joined my church and issued the edict of Milan in 313 A.D. that my church-goers were given some peace. It was then, in about 397 A.D., that the leaders of my Church got together for coffee and some biscuits in Carthage and decided to compile the bible, that same Bible that everyone uses today.

They also did some really awesome stuff over the next two thousands years. They evangelised many pagans, and helped intellectually fight heresies and naysayers, they started the first universities, hospitals, brought education to the working class with their schools. They advanced philosophy, one of our greatest philosophers even used logic to reason that God exists, and his arguments stand undefeated even until today, and he lived 900 years ago. They also worked hard to advance science, law, astronomy, art and music. They invented musical notation and the do-re-mi scale. They created polyphony, which is some of the most gorgeous and beautiful music you can ever hear. The gothic and baroque styles of architecture can be traced back to the great churches they built.

They branched out all over the world. It’s really quite cool, you can go to practically almost any country in the world and you’ll be able to find a church to go to on Sunday. They say you can go to one of our churches anywhere in the world and service will be the same. And they don’t discriminate or separate either, no youth or adult service; everyone comes together like a gigantic family to celebrate God. You know what the best part is? They still take in everybody of every colour, race, height, size and shape. From royalty to poverty, professionals to odd-job labourers, everyone! And you know what? They still love sinners, they especially welcome them.

PS:Oh, psssst, I'll let you in on a secret. The actual best part about my Church is that during service, you actually get to physically meet Jesus! Like in person. Shhh ok? It's a big secret.

The Canonised Saints: mere believers or much more?

Today, I attended a bible study on St Paul’s letter to the Philippians, where the apostle addresses the new church in Philippi, greeting them as saints together with the bishops ('overseers' in that translation, but that's for another day) and deacons.

'Paul and Timothy, the servants of Jesus Christ: to all the saints in Christ Jesus who are at Philippi, with the bishops and deacons.' - Phil 1:1

So it was then explained that meaning of the word saint, apart from meaning, holy or 'set apart', was in referral to the Church at Philippi. Then, it was further explained that the word saint could actually be applied to everyone in the room. All that was needed to be one a saint was the belief in Christ, and that's why those people who are remembered on special days are called saints, for their belief. It was further admonished that that was why they weren't any more special than the ordinary Joe and thus don't need to be placed on a pedestal and revered. In fact, it was said, some people get carried away and hold them with such high regard and status, treating them as great people and some denominations even worship them.

Call me Catholic, but alarm bells were going off in my neuro-OS as though the Saracens were trying to invade Constantinople again. I could feel my blood heating up. Then, I thought for a second, and I realised that you know what? By golly gosh, he's right!

The Saints were ordinary people. They were just like us, 206 bones, two eyes, one mouth, two ears, hair, one nose. They came from all walks of life. Some were peasants, farmers and extremely poor, others were emperors, royalty and aristocrats. Some were geniuses and redefined philosophy as you know it, others were very simply minded or had mental problems. Some were physicians, scientists and lawyers, others were artists, simple folk, maidens. Some were married and started families and parented children, others married Christ, and devoted their lives to prayer, meditation and parenting His flock. Some confessed Christ and were brutally murdered for his name, other's confessed Him and lived long lives in a testament to His name. At the centre of it all, is their ardent belief in one Jesus Christ, the God who became man, lived amongst man, and sacrificed Himself to save man.

So, these saints, they were really just ordinary people, much like ourselves, who believed in Christ. If that's true, than what makes them so special? Nothing much after all, they believed, and because of that belief, struggled to live their lives with heroic virtue, eschewed the pleasures and mindsets of this world and lived out their lives completely as Christ desired. Oh, and did I mention, that they also attained eternal salvation and happiness in heaven, through their great love for Christ, which they expressed in every aspect of their lives?

Wait, you say, but are you implying that heaven is not easy to get to? Well, yes.

I’m sure you’ve all read John 3:16, ‘For God so loved the world, as to give his only begotten Son; that whosoever believeth in him may not perish, but may have life everlasting.’ But, what does it mean to believe?

In the gospels (and I looked all of these up. You know how Catholics don’t memorise the bible right?), Christ says to believe in him you must ‘sell what thou hast, and give to the poor… and come, follow me’ (Matt 19:21), meaning to give up all worldly possessions and ideals, and give oneself completely to Christ. He also said that you must feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, take in the stranger, cloth the naked and visit the sick and imprisoned, for what you do to ‘these my least of brethren, you [do] it to me.’(Matt 25:45). And, he further says, ‘I am the bread of life which came down from heaven. If any man eats of this bread, he shall live forever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, for the life of the world…He that eateth my flesh and drinketh my blood hath everlasting life: and I will raise him up on the last day.’ (John 6:51-52, 55).

Sounds like believing is a tough call isn’t it? This doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface. The gospels have many more requests of Christ to his believers. To follow Christ completely, is certainly to be set apart from the rest and to be holy. It is also a challenging and arduous path.

I, for one, though I am believer, I am nowhere near even coming within one million kilometres of the holiness that a Saint has. I am so arrogant, so proud, and so impatient, so attached to my worldly possessions and pleasures of the flesh. I mean, seriously! Just look at what some of these guys have done! St Dominic, born to wealthy and honourable parents, gave up everything to live in poverty and to spend the rest of his days preaching about Christ, started the Order of Preachers. Ss Cosmas and Damian, twin physicians and surgeons, charged not a penny for their services, survived crucifixion, stoning and being shot by arrows before being martyred by the sword. Bl. Teresa of Calcutta, gave up everything to be a nun, then gave up even more to go to Calcutta to live amongst the poorest of the poor and to love them. St Edith Stein, German jewish convert, philosopher, and nun who openly criticised Nazism, and was gassed for it.

Yet, even then, they were still unworthy to go to heaven (no one is worthy after all. One enters heaven solely, by the grace of God). And yet, these lot made it. They completed the feat that Christ said was harder than making a camel pass through the eye of a needle. They recognised, realised and actualised the true meaning of life, to love, know and serve God in this temporal life and to be reunited with Him forever in the next. And, they did all of it, not for themselves, but for God, who then deigned to take them in his kingdom. For that they truly deserve the title of Saint, which comes from the Latin, sanctus, meaning holy.

How can I even compare with them? But, hey! You know what? Remember, they’re just ordinary people like you and I…that means….if they can do it…so can I! So, that got me thinking, if I wanted to go to heaven, who would be the best person to model myself on? Hmmm…I’d choose someone who has probably done it all before, someone with good virtues. A real stand up fellow. One that I wouldn’t mind hanging pictures off in my room to remind me of their great example or someone that I could turn to for help when going through similar problems. Someone who has already made it to heaven.

Oh, I know! I’ll choose a Saint! They led lives of heroic virtue, didn’t they? They fully confessed Christ as their God, creator and saviour right? They went through the same struggles with sin and concupiscence that I go through, didn’t they? And, they’re also in heaven aren’t they? Hey, isn’t that a great idea? And since the Saints are still part of my celestial family, when I need help, I can ask them to pray to God for me! They could be my role models, my heroes! This is too good an idea to keep to myself! The Church should make them heroes and role models for everyone!

Oh wait. She already has.

Sancti et Sanctae in caelo, ora pro nobis!

PS: I’m not going to touch on the worshipping thing. Any good protestant worth his salt should know that when you revere, admire and respect one of God’s creations for the beauty and glory that God has given to them, you give glory and praise to God, the creator. After all, which parent doesn’t bask in the achievements of their children, and can’t wait to boast about them to others? Which teacher doesn’t feel great when she finds out her students scored distinctions? At the end of the day, it’s all for the Glory of God.

Our Lady, the greatest Saint of them all. Without her obedience, and humility. Without her love for God, without her 'yes', we would not have the Saviour of the World. Thank God, she's our mother too, and watches out for us as her children from heaven.

Feisty.

BEATRICE I wonder that you will still be talking, Signor Benedick; nobody marks you.

BENEDICK What, my dear Lady Disdain! Are you yet living?

BEATRICE Is it possible that disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it as Signor Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain if you come in her prescence.

BENEDICK Then is Courtesy herself a turncoat. But it is certain I am loved by all ladies, only you excepted. And I would I could find it in my heart that I had not a hard heart, for truly I love none.

BEATRICE A dear happiness to women. They would else been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God and my cold blood I am of your humour for that. I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than hear a man swear he loves me.

BENEDICK God keep your ladyship still in that mind. So some gentleman or other shall scape a predistinate scratched face.

BEATRICE Scratching could not make it worse an 'twere such a face as yours were.

BENEDICK Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.

BEATRICE A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours.

BENEDICK I would hold my horse had the speed of your tongue, and so good a continuer. But keep your way, o' God's name. I have done.

BEATRICE You always end with a Jade's trick. I know you of old.