camwhoring

A hug a day keeps the nastiness away

yes it works. one hug. will more than one hug!
humans need physical contact, and the affectionate kind, i don't mean the 'i'm gonna rip out your eyeballs and stab in a bar fight' kind. Man was not created to live by himself on an island, it's possible and lonely. Touch is enough to send messages of love and affection to someone. I'm not even talking about couples holding hands or making out, i'm talking about friends sitting close to each other, their shoulders touching or something. It's just a little skin contact, but it says so much, trust, care, closeness, love, affection. These things are present in friendships too.

The Hug just accentuates all these things. You hug someone with outstretched arms, a sign of peace and welcome, you draw the person into close proximity, trust, and you hold them close, love and care and affection. Amazing how much feelings a simple action can do. This little epiphany dawned on me when shah hugged me, though we were both covered in mud and i've no idea when he wanted to get more mud on me, since there was too much already, yet, i felt uplifted, and happy for a few seconds since i was having a really bad day.

So i conclude that we should all get at least one hug a day, it'll do wonders to your face, it'll make you smile so much more.. and it's gotta be a real hug, or it doesn't count. Try it, get a hug a day from some whom you really love and who loves as much, like your mom or dad or siblings or grandparents and you'll start to find life so much better.

Though it makes me wonder why i was born with slightly heightened senses. I sensitive to color, to sounds around me, to taste, to smells and to touch. But it's super easy to fulfill the needs of each sense save for touch. Sure textures and stuff are nice, but nothing beats the warmness of someone else. It sucks to be single.. haha.

but nonsense aside, go get a hug! and give hugs! Real ones too.. Be generous with them, you never know, your hug could save a life.

lent is at an end

soon it'll be over,
but i don't feel i had a very good lent.
lent is a season of sacrifice, of discipline..
a time to take up responsibilities
a time to make good ourselves..
sorta like cleansing...
though i did discover so much about myself this lent...
i hope i'm a better person now..
i hope more that people realize it.

holy week is approaching.
"all that is hidden will be made clear"

people

team spirit

spectators

Just a face in the crowd

Having a whale of a time

A true evening with friends

Shh! it's a secret

Leading the blind

Our hearts, our hopes, our aims are one.

More Friends, More Laughter

Score 2!

Contrast

Louisa Smiles

The Jotham

War Scene

scenery

murder on a hill.

Math math math math math..
4 chapters
3 days.

and everyone and anywhere is a distraction...

duality...or insomnia struck!

Whee it's 3:50 already and I’m having a blast... well I'm not... it's chronic insomnia, but it don't matter I've got my cup of cream of chicken and a cup of potent green tea and a bottle of... well it claims to contain alcohol but I can't taste it. I think its finally getting to me this lack of writing, now I’ve gotten back my niche, not sure about quality though.

Yes, yes, I know should be practicing my Mathematical Induction, but I’m not. Hahahaha. Instead I’m here writing about smiles and other nonsensical events in life as well as finally making proper use of my photoblog. Btw, if you’re wondering why my posts seem to have almost no spelling errors is because I’m typing them in Microsoft word. It has better paragraphing than blogger.

Apparently I don’t smile enough… so I was practicing my abhorrent smile at a reflective window when I realized that it’s a bigger strain to smile than to frown. Maybe its just me, or maybe most people find it easier to frown, yet I know frowning using more muscles than smiling(which already needs over 300), see my under worked cheek muscles. I don’t even have laugh lines yet; and I love to laugh, but I don’t have frown lines either, much to my annoyance. Well I promise that when presented with that choice of smiling or frowning I will flash that smile. Maybe if I practice enough I’d manage to swoon some girls with one bright pearly white flash… ahhh who am I kidding?

Nevertheless, I believe the world would be a brighter place if we all flashed smiles, no matter the number of forks in our heads. If we all flashed everyone, we might even end night! Smile away friends =D

So anyway the week is finally at a close, I’ve joined my new class, 1SC8, but I still am cadging for SD2, my dearest SD2, how I miss you. Though I can’t pule for them forever, I do miss my friends since I’m the only SD2er in the SC8ers(that’s skaters) and the only rugger in class, but alas and alak, what am I do to in this cruel world?  

Oh SD2, how i miss you.
I’ve also brought my portraiture project to a close. I may not have as many in my collection as I’d like to, but I have learnt a great deal of skills from the project. That and the sad fact people are scared to recorded on camera as themselves. Though Estelle and Sharyl have done a really nice job here being themselves :P

Moving on, this picture is the eventful culmination of the $6 that Shu and I spent in total for 45 mins at Sentosa, where we were more have out than actually in it. We didn’t even see ANY sand. Hahahahaa oh well. This is probably one of the top 5 shots from that day, today it’s not really a scenery shot or I’d have used it for my competition. Sometimes you just need some to see someone enjoying the scenery

And that the last one is a picture from the Bangkok tour. I finally made my sordid debut for ACJC, well I’ve got lots to work on, but it doesn’t matter I had an unforgettable time there with my roomie, Jotham and the rest of the team. I don’t really care for the tradition that men are not supposed to show any attachment lest they are seen as weak. I love my team and I would die for them. So there. You can sue later, but real men actually have emotions and they express them. And yes, wanton need to destroy raffles is an emotion. 

Subject: Hi.

Dear Girl,

I just wanted to say 'hi'.

Hi.

I know that I have yet to meet you, but you’re waiting there being a corner of life, waiting for me to come around. I hope that when I finally do, you won’t think I’m a loser if I take a while to say ‘hi’ as I’m shy. I hope that when we meet we can good friends, well not just good but the best of friends and I pray you’ll accept me for all that I am, for my ADHD and impulsivity and mood swings. Don’t be scared off cause of my height and size, I swear I’m really soft inside though I might have frankenstein’s monster’s hands. I know that I will take you for all that you are too, whatever that it may be or however you look, because you’re beautiful and God made you that way.

I hope you’ll like to have fun and experiment with new things cause life is always full of changes, it’s just whether or not we’re willing to grab on for the ride. I hope you’ll be open to my point of view, cause its far from the norm, and if you are, I’ll get the chance to show you some of life’s wonders that you might have missed when you weren’t looking. I know you’ll show me your share of life too, cause I’ve missed a lot when I wasn’t looking. Let’s go on that magic carpet ride.

And please don’t mind my friends, they’re a myriad of different worlds, some are rowdy and noisy who like to crack jokes and play pranks while others are intellectual and eccentric with a dramatic flair who like discuss life and philosophy or just debate, but they’re all really nice and warm people who love life and want to have fun.

I hope we do meet soon, but until them I hope you keep flashing that beautiful smile :)

With much love,

society bites

Welcome to my life, it's half past one and I’m still online. Well that's the chronic insomnia speaking but never mind. I hope ye who read this will not mind my poor writing skills, I haven't written any entries for about an eternity. So since this is one of those hopeless all-nighter nights, I will take my hand at writing once again.

Have you ever had an identity crisis, you go through all those fads and phases trying to find a niche in society that will fit you in? Have you ever felt one against the world in a never ending battle for acceptance? It's so annoying, the way that we're built to need society, community and friends and at the same time to gain their acceptance. It's scary, how our need to feel acceptance turns us into carbon copies of the people we want acceptance from, individualism tends to be tolerated till a certain level before you become 'weird' and then ostracized.

I guess, rules, spoken or unspoken exists in all forms of communities to societies regarding acceptance. From a macro to micro perspective, groups of people are ostracized from society failing to make her criteria; they then exert their individual differences even louder, as if telling society to go fuck herself as they don’t need her. This then transfers onto a micro perspective, other individuals looking for an escape from society’s criteria then do the group completely flattery with their mimesis. And that children that is how we end up with cosplayers and goth people.

I wonder how the social butterflies do it, the ones who are able to change their frequencies to sort the different types of communities that they live in. It’s like they have some sort of gear shift to change to fit the criteria of each. From jock sportsman to intellectual to Sensitive New Age Guy to Geek or whatever in a no time, it’s amazing since each group has its own set of boundaries. When with jocks, it’s alright to be vulgar to spout ‘fuck’ like there is no tomorrow, and pull immature pranks and just jack people like anything just for the fun of it, but bring up something intellectual and you’ll probably get skinned alive. Contrarily, pull that in front of girls or smarter people and you’d be hung.

It’s a pity the world still dwells in the chaste system, albeit one that is unspoken. Though we have social mobility, it really is lacking, sometimes I just wish the world would grow up and be more mature and accepting and take me for who I am inside and not out. There are two types of people in the world with regards to acceptance, the ones open and mature enough that they are willing to accept and see people for who they really are and the ones that only see the outside long before they finally take a peek in. It’s a pity the latter make up the most of the world.

For me it’s like a reverse identity crisis, I know who I am, but I now need the world to see it that way. Apparently I just never learnt the right body language, from what I gather…after being ostracized for so long, how do you change something innate and natural? C’est la vie, it’s so damn difficult sometimes, cause no one can pinpoint what exactly you do wrong and you don’t know it’s wrong cause you don’t know what’s right either, you just wind up confused and despondent. Try doing something nice and good and facing a wall the world erected around you for things you don’t do on purpose. It’s like being lost all the time. Ah well. One day they’ll all understand. Hopefully anyway.

I just need to find that darn frequency tuner :P

Darkness Calling

click it

bleeding through lifeless eyes

now you lie in this coffin of red
interred and going under,
here's six feet of dread.
your tragic eyes see life
fading before you. never
seeing more than the life you rejected.


goodbye to you
here's your shackles and pain.
nevermind what you thought,
it's all fire for your sin.
good bye.. good bye
hurry now,
drink up your goblet of cyanide.
good bye.
i'll be here digging
your grave.


what were you thinking?
as i watched from the distance i saw
you falling.
dying like never before.
now i see you decaying away to the bone.


goodbye to you
here's your shackles and pain.
nevermind what you thought,
it's all fire for your sin.
good bye.. good bye
hurry now,
drink up your goblet of cyanide.
good bye.
i'll be here digging
your grave.


so i'll bury you.
and never recover the spades
and the lead in your head.
the bloods pouring on your pretty face,
better cancel the flight, cause i see you dead.
cold and burning
from ashes to ashes
now it's too late


goodbye to you
here's your shackles and pain.
nevermind what you thought,
it's all fire for your sin.
good bye.. good bye
hurry now,
drink up your goblet of cyanide.
good bye.
i'll be here digging
your grave.


goodbye now-it's too late-
goodbye goodbye
i'll be digging your grave.