Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Poems 2014

I've run out of creativity for the year.

At Sea.
For I

The sun streams through the window,
warming my face, as I stare out at the aerial sea,
at the sunbaked, mechanical wings flapping,
taking this ship higher, higher.

Fifty-thousand feet up at sea,
Above the lush coral-fields of clouds,
Traveling through these crystal clear hues,
Of never-ending blues.

The sky-turtles float about aimlessly,
Dancing amidst the majestic mantas,
Who soar, wings open, effortlessly.
I cannot help but think of you.

Back before this ship took flight,
In those sunny, sunny, summer days,
When we took a sail out to sea at first light,
Adventures— up and down the waves,

Navigating through the nimbus and flocus,
Spying fish, and swimming down deep.
I close my eyes and I can still see your face;
Wishing you’d stay, as I feel the warm sun weep

Luminescent rays through the window,
Shining on sunbaked, mechanical wings flapping,
Taking this ship further, further away.

Through the white fields,
                                        fortress of clouds.

A pod of orcas fly by.

Time Flies.

My life in a trunk,
Packed in a flying metal box,
Across the seas and back again,
Soaring over the forest of clouds,
Thirty-five thousand feet above again.
Across snowy mountains and sunny seas
To green, green island,
    To learn of trypsin, 
and murmurs,
And back again,
Time flies they say,

Three more years.

Houseman.

The work day has started,
‘Doctor, doctor!’ I hear some nurse shriek.
I hope she didn’t mean me.
Oh no, here she comes.
‘Put in a line’, she says.
I fumble, once, no, twice,
mumbling apologies, mumble, mumble.
‘Thank you, doctor’
Doctor, it seems so surreal,
I don’t deserve it.
Is that really me?
It seems last yesterday I was still a student,
Just a baby, protected, babied, taught.
Now, I am writing prescriptions.
Hoping not to get caught,
And scolded.
I have grown old,
The work day has started.

The Consultant.

The sun breaks across the wards,
Illuminating the volleys of pills and needles.
Officers running around with boards,
Checking plans, and scripts, and vitals.

Amidst the morning battle,
He calmly strolls across the ward,
Like a colonel, silver eagle on his chest,
stethoscope in hand,

Combat-ready, he summons the men,
His officers, in fear, fall in around the bed,
While Sargeant Majoress keeps order.
‘So, tell me how is Mr Tan today.’

The captain goes first, telling his report,
Then, the lieutenants are questioned,
belittled, humbled, drawn, and taught.
Silently, the cadet moves out of harm’s way.

They move from bed to bed,
At every turn, he demonstrates his prowess,
reminding them of the gulf until they are dismissed.
Off to war again, better equipped,
                                                      learning, day by day.

Ascent.
For J

White veil of snow a top her head,
Unscalable mountain with the broken feet.
Little holes where miners drilled for gold.

They'd missed the mark, aimed far too low,
For her heart was the most expensive,
A furnace in this blistering cold.

Hands wrapped around hot chocolate,
Half mad from fighting hypothermia.
Often, the wind seemed to whisper.

That giggle, teasing, sweet sounds
Now forgotten, buried deep in snow.
An eye, a smile, sweet dimples

Warms the heart some winters ago.
The tundra is a frozen white wasteland
Of bellowing winds, all shoveling snow

Across the blades of grass
these dreams from long, 
long ago.

More Haikus

Heart.
Broken and battered,
This heart will not stop pumping.
Give up or fight on?

Silence.
Anxious silence.
Stubbornness is a bad trait;
Just admit defeat.

Pathology Haiku

Learning path is strange.
Ovary's teratoma:
Find full teeth down there

For the uninspired, a teratoma is a germ cell neoplasm (read tumour). Germ cells are the stuff sperm and eggs are made off and they can become any cell type in your body. Hence, it is not unusual in ovarian teratomas, to find all sorts of weird things in there, including fully formed teeth. I am not going to apologise for the graphic nature of this next image:


As you can see, lovely, fully formed teeth.

Luckily, these are rare. More women who get an ovarian teratoma will get a benign dermoid cyst. However, teratomas in men are usually malignant. :/ 

This post has been inspired by Eric Chudler's Neuroscience Haikus

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

3rd Sunday After Epiphany

'And behold a leper came and adored Him, saying, "Lord, if Thou wilt, Thou canst make me clean." /And Jesus stretching forth His hand, touched him, saying, 'I will, be thou made clean. And forthwith his leprosy was cleansed.' - Matt. VIII.ii-iii

This, taken from yesterday's gospel, for the Third Sunday after Epiphany, is one of my favourite passages from the gospel of Matthew. The text above, taken from the great Douay-Rheims, doesn't quite do justice to the impact of the words, at least, to our modern ears as we have lost the subtle specific difference between ‘will’ and ‘shall’. The Latin reads: ‘Domine, si vis, potes me mundare. Jesus…dicens: Volo. Mundare.’ O Lord, if Thou wished, Thou [has the power to] cleanse me. Jesus… [said], ‘I wish. Be clean.’ Volo means to want, to wish, to desire, which is what ‘I will’ implies, as opposed to the more matter of fact ‘I shall’.

How powerful that is! The Lord, not only can heal the leper, the diseased outcast, but desires to! This is completely in line with the remainder of the gospel, which showcased the great charity of God, healing all the multitudes, culminating in the great faith of the Roman Centurion, with his Domine non sum dignus. Yet, through it all, it is this that really strikes me today, the desire of the Lord to heal us. That great overwhelming charity and mercy that He wants to pour upon us in buckets, to make us new again, whole, complete, perfect. A desire, which our priest reminded us yesterday, was a most scandalous thing to do in Jewish society, to give court to the diseased and the outcast, and not only to heal them, but to touch them as well. It is an intimate desire of Our Lord to connect with us, to touch us, as any good physician would do, as we are, as broken, sinful humans, and to make us whole.

But, there is another aspect to examine as well, the desire and the faith of the Leper. He is the one who approached the Lord with courage and faith, to beg for healing, to ask to be cleaned. Likewise, so too must we, approach the Lord in similar fashion if we are to seek similar graces. This is the beauty of God’s goodness, the free will of the unclean leper to approach Christ, the fount of infinite mercy and love, so that we are drawn to cooperate with God, to submit to receive His gifts. Christ has already made Himself known to us His desire to strip us of our pains, torments, imperfections, and to bring us to salvation, yet how often do we choose to approach? More oft than not, this gift of free will is abused, in the act of sin, the denial of His existence, the abuse and violence against His church. Yet, even then, He is merciful, as Pascal wrote, granting those who desire to see Him enough light to do so, and those who do not, as Russell, Nietzsche, and many others, enough darkness to shrink from Him and hide.

It is thus amazing that we do not seek Him to beg for His gifts and mercy, He, the creator of the universe, of all that exists, He who desires, who wants to heal us, and complete us! Woe is my soul, seeking for earthly things, to ‘enjoy myself’ with parties, and human accolades, and selfish adventures, these transient pleasures, instead of the blessedness, the eudaimonia, the true happiness and peace that only He can give, and that He wishes to. Let us pray for the grace, for guidance of the Holy spirit to orientate us back onto the narrow path, seeking Christ, so that we may ask, ‘Domine, si vis, potes me mundare.’ So that, we may hear, ‘Volo. Mundare.’