On Children

On Children
Kahil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

St Leonard's words of advice when the going gets tough.

It's Advent again, and a time to return our lives to Christ and await his second coming as we celebrate his first. It is a penitential time, a time to shrug of the worldly intoxications that we infatuate ourselves with and return to prayer and Christ. It is a difficult period especially in a secular society that began celebrating Christmas last month. For me, end of term MCQs and final examinations are rearing their ugly fanged heads. Now, it's a race to finish memorising everything that I shall have to know for this term.

When you're in university, no matter the course, it's always a mad rush for time. For me, my ADHD distracts me and biology is dragging me behind, it takes three hours to make each set of notes. I am blessed however, that it is only time that ails me because there are others who struggle with deeper issues than me with regards to understanding work and getting it done. But I-- or rather St Leonard has a solution for any of these problems! (Yes, a one size that fits all solution!)

Let me quote from his precious book, from examples to induce Tradesman or Artisans to hear Holy Mass, emphasis mine:

But you are thinking that the avaricious will never listen except to a tune in their own key. Well, then be it so. Get rich, gather up, make profit. What is the surest way? I will show you: daily hear Holy Mass with thorough devotion. It is plainly seen in the case of two artisans whom I could point out. Both pursue the same trade; one is burdened with a family: wife, children, grandchildren; the other is burdened alone with his wife. The first has brought up his family in great comfort and even style, and has all his transactions turn out wonderfully. Customers at his shop, and sales despatched. So he has gone on, till he finds himself putting by every year a good round sum, to serve in time for marriage-portions for his daughters. The other, who is without children, at one time got little employment, was half famished, and was, in short, a ruined man. One day he said confidentially to his neighbour, 'How is it you do? In your home there rains down every blessing of God; while I, poor wretch, cannot hold up my head; and all sorts of calamities light on my house.' 'I will tell you,' said his neighbour, 'Tomorrow morning I shall be with you, and I will point out the place from which I draw so much.' Next morning he took him to church to hear Mass, and then led him back to his workshop; and so two or three different times, till at last the poor man said, 'If nothing else is wanted than to go to church to hear Mass, I know the way well enough, without putting you to inconvenience.' 'Just so,' said the other; 'hear holy Mass, my friend with devotion, every day, and you will see a change on the face of your fortune.' And, in fact, so it was. Beginning to hear Mass every morning, he became well provided with work, shortly paid his debts, and put his house once more in capital condition. (Sar. in Vit. S. Joan. Eleem.) Trust the words of the Gospel. And if you do so, how can you doubt the fact? Does it not say clearly, Quaerite primum regnum Dei…et haec omnia adjicientur vobis? 'Seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you.' (St Matt vi. 33.) Make but the trial of a year; hear holy Mass every morning with true earnest devotion for one year, and if your temporal interests do not take a better turn, lay the blame on me. But there is little fear of that; you will rather have many reasons to thank me.

- St Leonard of Port Maurice, The Hidden Treasure

Apart from the long beautiful paragraph which our internet brains cannot endure, you may have noticed that this is intended for artisans and tradesmen, the businessmen, whose interests lies in making profits. How does that apply to me, the student, you cry, bewildered, invoking the names of several dinosaurs. It is simple, because we as students, we too desire earthly profit! Our avarice (greed) is in the desire for time! We are so greedy for it. Time is a material worldly value, it is precious, more so than money and we would be most foolish to waste it. Yet, we jealously guard it from its creator and our's. How many foolish times have I, in my youth, neglected even Sunday Mass, to study! And I thank God that he has made me wiser now, that I should give back to Him, what He has deigned to give me.

Now, my dear friends, I am not saying completely give up your studies to spend all your time in prayer. That is not your vocation, it is, at present to study, however, I am suggesting, that you perhaps, through this lovely advent, spend more time in prayer. If there is only one thing you do for Advent, go for daily Mass where possible, it is only half an hour of your time! If you fear the commitment, than, go more times than usual, go Monday, Wednesday, and Friday perhaps, or even just Monday and Friday. Whatever it is, set aside that time for God daily, and plan your day around it. Let nothing disturb that. Watch the change in your life appear.

That is what I shall plan to do this Advent. If you can, please say a Hail Mary for me that I complete all my exam prep in time!

To Thee, O Lord, have I lifted up my soul: in Thee, O my God, I put my trust; let me not be ashamed. Neither let my enemies laugh at me: for none of them that wait on Thee shall be confounded. V. Show, O Lord, Thy ways to me, and teach me Thy paths. V. Glory be. -Introitus, First Sunday of Advent, 1962

Thank you, St Thérèse.

I am very thankful to have discovered St Thérèse just before leaving Singapore. It was within the last four weeks I remember. How humbled I have been by her life so far. These are certainly lessons that I greatly need, for I am a very arrogant and pride boy. I don't even know how I can be so proud, having been born with a disorder that should make me very lowly, since it has been rather life debilitating. I also cannot say that anything I have achieved has been through my own hand, for where I am now is really through the mercy of God. And yet, I am still so proud. Humility is a harsh lesson, one that I am thankful God has deigned to continue to drill into me, though I am a very poor, distracted and inattentive learner.

Now, I just need to stop complaining about how slow and boring the lessons in school are. >.< or perhaps, stop complaining about anything in general.

A lesson from St Thérèse

Currently I am reading St Thérèse's book during adoration. I hope it pleases the Lord that I should learn more from the example of His Little Flower in His presence. I was reading this two weeks ago during adoration, and I thought it was a very lesson to learn, so I shall put the text here and you can try to follow Her example.

Dear Mother, I feel that I have expressed myself with more than usual confusion, and I do not know what you can find to interest you in these rambling pages, but I am not aiming at a literary masterpiece, and if I weary you by this discourse on charity, it will at least prove your child's good will. I must confess I am far from living up to my ideal, and yet the very desire to do so gives me a feeling of peace. If I fall into some fault, I arise again at once—and for some months now I have not even had to struggle. I have been able to say with our holy Father, St. John of the Cross: "My house is entirely at peace," and I attribute this interior peace to a victory I gained over myself. Since that victory, the hosts of Heaven have hastened to my aid, for they will not allow me to be wounded, now that I have fought so valiantly.

A holy nun of our community annoyed me in all that she did; the devil must have had something to do with it, and he it was undoubtedly who made me see in her so many disagreeable points. I did not want to yield to my natural antipathy, for I remembered that charity ought to betray itself in deeds, and not exist merely in the feelings, so I set myself to do for this sister all I should do for the one I loved most. Every time I met her I prayed for her, and offered to God her virtues and merits. I felt that this was very pleasing to Our Lord, for there is no artist who is not gratified when his works are praised, and the Divine Artist of souls is pleased when we do not stop at the exterior, but, penetrating to the inner sanctuary He has chosen, admire its beauty.

I did not rest satisfied with praying for this Sister, who gave me such occasions for self-mastery, I tried to render her as many services as I could, and when tempted to answer her sharply, I made haste to smile and change the subject, for the Imitation says: "It is more profitable to leave everyone to his way of thinking than to give way to contentious discourses." And sometimes when the temptation was very severe, I would run like a deserter from the battlefield if I could do so without letting the Sister guess my inward struggle.

One day she said to me with a beaming face: "My dear Soeur Thérèse, tell me what attraction you find in me, for whenever we meet, you greet me with such a sweet smile." Ah! What attracted me was Jesus hidden in the depths of her soul—Jesus who maketh sweet even that which is most bitter.

It is certainly a very difficult example to follow. I hope the Holy Spirit gives me the grace to find something virtuous and beautiful about the people I most resent or at the very least to smile lovingly at the image of Christ within them.

A little time to reflect.

I had this thought the other day. It was rather unexpectedly injected into my prefrontal cortex. I was thinking about euthanasia, and juxtaposing how the utilitarian values the quadriplegic person as opposed to the Christian. Rather standard mock argument and reflecting. Then I just pictured myself getting run over by a car and loosing sensation from neck down. I heard the doctor telling someone about the options and how humane it would be to terminate my life. And I saw myself blinking a great deal to say, 'don't kill me, I'm alive!'

Of course, survival thoughts turned to thoughts of 'what now?'. To be completely dependent, and vulnerable and unable to do move or do anything at all. The ADHD kid's worst nightmare! We are a special bunch, us ADHD kids, we need to run and jump and just be hyper. There's always something that has to be done. I remember when I had a multi-ligament tear in my ankle earlier this year, and for the first day or two before the air cast, I was confined to house, and not just the house, but to a particular floor. I almost went crazy from having nothing to do and no one to talk to. Being paralysed would be far worse! Imagine, all that, while not being able to even talk! Don't forget, no more nice food, because you can't chew or there's fear of you choking on it. Never mind, basic bodily functions.

Ya, I think being paralysed is kinda inconvenient.

Anyway, what struck me was, what would I do all day? And the answer was simple. Pray. I'll just pray all day, and find someway to spend much of my time in adoration. It's like being a monk....in your body!

What was not so simple was when I found myself asking, 'assuming it is God's will that you are paralysed tomorrow, or now? then what?' and I knew he answer was the one mentioned above, but I didn't like the reluctance in my heart for not immediately reaching to share in the cup of suffering and carry my cross.

O Lord my God, I now at this moment, readily and willingly accept at Thy hand, whatever kind of death it may please Thee to send me, with all it's pain, penalties and sorrow. Amen.

“I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled.”
— The Beatrice Letters, by Lemony Snicket

Good Morning

Very, very happy this morning!

The Lord remembered His lowliest servant and deigned to visit him.

Studying too much

‎6 easy steps that will help YOU, yes YOU to make the most of your pet virus.

1. ATTACH it (to a protein receptor on a potential host cell. Or become attached to it, always good to spend time with your pets.)
2. let it PENETRATE the host cell (because it's naughty that way)
3. UNCOAT the capside (cause penetration gets hot)
4. ECLIPSE. (the viral version of Twilight, cause teenage viruses need to go on dates to facilitate little virus making)
5. ASSEMBLY it (as most young viruses will do, your virus will have run off and left many broken things for you to put together)
6. RELEASE it. (congratulations, you're now a proud owner of >500 more pet viruses. Pass some onto your friends and repeat steps 1-6)