Wednesday, August 01, 2012

Marriage and Vocations Pt 3

Da Boyz.
The men are not off the hook either. Just like there is a jarring loss of authentic femininity  in women today, there is also an equally jarring loss of masculinity in men today as well. Heck, in this case, I’m even willing to go as far as to say it was this loss of authentic masculinity that resulted in reaction known as the feminist revolution. However, unlike women who went wayward in a movement aimed at bettering women’s lives, men lost themselves in a slightly more complicated fashion.

Authentic Masculinity
To understand the heart of the problem, one first must understand what the man is supposed to be. The very essence of man is the need to sacrifice himself for the good of his family. In the bible, Christ reminds the Pharisees that, in the beginning, ‘a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they two shall be in one flesh.’ This very act of leaving the caregivers of his life to enter into the unknown world is in itself a sacrifice. From then on, he will put aside his needs and desires and physically exhaust himself in a job that he may or may not like to bring home dough for his wife and children. In the past that would mean putting his body on the line to go hunt, in the modern world, it is sitting at a desk all day long.

All this can be observed through natural law. In some tribes there are coming of age rituals, signifying the boy’s transition from boyhood to manhood. From then on, he is expected to keep the company of the men, where he learns to be one of them and to hunt and protect his family. Even biology mimics this, where at the age of 4, the boy must separate himself from his mother and join to his father, or gender identity disorder may occur.

It is in this bond that the boy learns how to carry out his masculine duties through imitation, how to sacrifice himself and treat every woman as a lady, to put himself second, and give her the first place.

To draw a parallel, it is this same path that Christ, Himself, took. He left heaven and took on the form of man, where, He then went and sacrificed His body through the beatings, scourging, the crown of thorns, the carrying of the cross, and finally the crucifixion itself in order to redeem the entire world. It is this external sacrifice that is innate in masculinity that allows a man to become a priest and to act in persona Christi, in the person of the most masculine, to offer up the sacrifice of the most innocent to God the Father.

Hence the occupations that boysmost identify with often require some form of physical sacrifice. Every boy at one stage has wanted to be a soldier or a policeman or a fire fighter. To serve and protect is practically innate within the male. That is why men were given such great passions and energy, to channel it for the greater good of society. It is in growing up that we learn to master these passions and to defeat dragons, the first of which being ourselves. Only when we have the discipline to conquer our passioned wants and needs will we have the ability to take on other dragons, to be ready for battle. We were meant to be knights in shining armour. So where did we go wrong?

Utilitarianism
The fallout of traditional philosophy during the enlightenment period gave rise to empiricism and skeptism, which led to the ethics of Utilitarianism. As mentioned in the previous articles, Utilitarianism can be summed up as ‘whatever means to achieve the greatest pleasure’. It is a relativistic course of ethics whose moral principles largely depend on what one can get away with. Hence, the spawning of the ‘me’ generation whose effects can be largely seen in almost every aspect of society. In economics, duty and honour between employers and employees has since been thrown out the door, it is how much the employer can milk his employees for profit. In healthcare, doctors have been relegated to prescription writing, pill dispensing units thanks to the application of Prinicipalism which has utilitarian roots. In advertising it has become developed to the point of whatever sells the product, and of course, that is sex. One hardly comes across an advertisement nowadays that isn’t sexed up in some way.

When applied to the man, this idea of I’ll use whomever I want to give me pleasure, has eroded the presence of the truly masculine in society. Once men were protectors, they have either become predators, just going around using women for their personal gain or they never grow up, being stuck in front of the computer screen all day long, indulging in their fantasies. This uh mascularism, if you will, the corruption of the masculine with utilitarian principles, is why women who desire to get married to a good and loving husband will be hard pressed to find one.

Over-sexed Culture
It doesn’t help that the culture has become sex-obsessed. The gender-sociologist have turned sexual preference into an identity, elevating it from an accidental feature of humanity into an essential feature, and the only essential feature, hence the LGBT movement and this silly notion that one’s gender is completely a social construct, never mind the staggering research into the physiological and anatomical differences between men and women. You can choose whether you want to be a boy or a girl in the head, but not whether you’re attracted to boys or girls. It’s all rather odd if you ask me.

What’s more, in today’s culture, boys are expected by society to watch pornography, masturbate and be promiscuous. This could not be more contrary to nature! Pornography addiction is particularly prevalent and its incidence is on the rise. What’s the big deal you ask? Well, leaving aside the obvious problems for the moment, like that it’s a grave sin, it denigrates the marital act in its fiction and teaches men to objectify women, what about the fact that porn stars themselves are horribly damaged and abused individuals? That’s right, as long as you watch pornography, you are supporting the abuse of men and women who are completely broken and damaged inside. (see theporneffect.com)

Masturbation is also a very dangerous habit. I won’t say much and let C.S Lewis do the talking for me, ‘For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out of himself to complete (and correct) his own personality in that of another (and finally in children and even grandchildren) and turns it back, sends it back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides. And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman. For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no real woman can rival.’

Read more about that here in an article by Fr John Harvey, OSFS on the Courage website http://couragerc.net/Masturbation.html

I think I don’t need to speak as well about how sleeping around will mess a man up completely as well.

Chivalry is Dead
All these grave sins have lead to a huge rusting of the shining armour that men once proudly wore because the armour of virtue and chivalry cannot be worn by a man who is unable to lead such a life. The armour requires a great strength of mind to put on and to sustain, a great strength that can only come from God. When one is his natural state of sanctifying grace, in that communion with God, how light he is, and how light this armour will be. The opposite will of course be when he bogged down by these sins. In essence, the modern man, shackled by the fetters of pornography and sexual addiction, will have to overcome great obstacles in order to remain true to his essential nature, his masculinity. These sexual sins in particular have lead to an objectification of women, and ultimately to their degradation. When men view women as a objects, as commodities, they will no longer see persons to protect but things to possess, and there goes the masculine.

In addition to these woes, the feminist movement has also put a stop to the little courtesies that men afforded women in their external sacrifice of the self. The sacrifice of the feminine is an internal one, a sacrifice of the ego, in her mercy, she allows the man to care for her and look after her. It is in this act, that she allows the man to fulfil his masculinity. However, in becoming feminists, the women have essentially said no to masculinity and allowed men to become jerks. That said, I will agree that it is the men’s fault that the feminist movement erupted in the first place.

In Brief
Boys, you have a duty to God, to society, to women and to yourself, to be masculine men. To be the gentlemen regardless of how you are treated and to protect always, even those whom you have never met (but are tempted to view electronically). 

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