can't sleep.

once again.. insomnia bites. I took two decalgren tonight, but I don't feel sleepy ):.

I just wrote a poem. Now i'm watching disney movies. God i'm sure a romantic...I can't stand myself. hopeless love stories and disney movies. All the sweet moments in life, run through my mind like a dream. Cept i can't sleep.

I wonder where this will all end up?

I'm trapped by time. Day is now night, while night has inadvertently become day. I can't even feel a drop of tiredness. So sad. All that's left to me now in this world of mine, where any form of human contact is slumbering, is left to carthartic piece of text that flows from somewhere in the far reaching nether regions of my grey matter. I seriously need more friends on the other side of the globe. The martian equatorial timezone is most hilarious.

The mind really wonders once the clock hits 3am, by 4, there's nothing left to do cept blog-surf. There is no other more heinous a deed that I can make myself go through than either clicking through mindless assault of the english language and directionless (though i must say, it's rather pointless at 5am to actually coherently combine sentences into justifiable rambling with some form of ambitious progressive reading material. so i am guilty of mindless rambling) ranting upon the chronical of their daily lives or, the couples. I HATE COUPLES. I can't stand couple pictures. In a personal and professional way. I guess I shouldn't continue to expand the verbiage upon this affair, since it is to them a rather personal opinion on how they would like to look in their candid photographs. Bowen says i'm a paradox, but we all can't help being two-legged working paradoxes of creatures meant to crawl along a forest floor.

Andy Williams fills the early morning air. Boys watching girls all over again. I wonder why it happens, and it happens everywhere, guys watching girls, girls watching guys and all the watching. It makes me wonder of all the lucky chaps out there, the simple minded, the easy-going ones, who seem so lucky. It's so easy for them to fall into relationships. Then i wonder why, the very need for human companionship dogs the complicated in thought, the eccentric and intelligent. Maybe we're not so intelligent after all. It should all seem so simple, after all compared to calculus or comprehending Niche or analysing Dickens, arts that have been around for mere centuria, love has been around for millenia. Clytaemenstra's final decision to kill her child-killing husband Agamemnon lies within his crime of returning with the beautiful and quite obscuring cassandra. Love lies a lot of the great greek stories and this is a trend that follows through the rest of history. It has been around for so long, and apparently it is so simple, that the simplest can easily understand it. Or maybe it is not a matter of comprehension, rather it is a matter of fussiness. The more finicky and punctilious we are over our choice for a mate, having been brought up to choose the best. The one that fits the lock and key hypothesis the most. It doesn't seem even like a matter of perception, underlying, there is no other way to ignite feelings, so i question again, even if it is rethorical, how does it come about? Why do the simple people in simple lives seem so much more happier off?


i just wish...