i hate having AS

i just realized it. it's like someone suddenly flicked on the light bulb and went BLAM! haha. you suck.

i know why how my crushes develop, i don't know if it's a good thing, but it certainly is annoying, and it all stems from having an abnormal brain. the same one that doesn't let me go to sleep at night and keeps me analysing things until my brain fries, the one that won't let me have friend

like i've said before, all crushes start from a thought, a thought which is then explored, and toyed with more and more, and blam before you know it, you're hooked. Now for my case, imagine that your mind is forever thinking, connecting, linking, playing, manipulating, imagining. Then throw in the thought about a girl who more or less fits your mind's idea of an appealing, then hit the overdrive button. and ta-da, 9 month crush on a girl i don't know, and with whom my chances are screwed. This is the same story with Frances.

it is so sad. I hate being locked up in my head, being ostracised for just being me, discriminated for being different and weird, and unable to persue proper relationships with other people who fail to intellectually stimulate me. Which is more or less 95% of the world out there. I thrive during educational discussion because i love the stimulation, and it's so with a lot of other aspies out there. yet i can't talk about boring things, mundane, unnecessary, redundant things.

why?