Wednesday, February 06, 2008

i hate you, my dear soul.

i'm so lost and frustrated... i want to go out and have fun and just be around the people i care for, but i can't find them anywhere. i wonder where they all disappeared to. they suddenly left me, and i hate this feeling, it erodes my soul, and destroys my core. I feel so vulnerable, so alone in this cage, with an unfulfilling cadge. the superficiality just eats me.

where did you go?

I wonder sometimes if i drown myself in all my hobbies to get rid of this feeling of loneliness. God is supposed to be here with me at all times, i'm told, i'm not supposed to be alone. I'm never alone. But yet i don't know, why i feel this way.. it's frustrating, why do i have to be the one with mental disorder, the one to have the asperger's and then be a very social creature.

I don't know why i'm complaining, He doesn't give us anything more than we can handle. It's just hard i want to run away sometimes.. just run and run and run. But there's no where i can hide, i'll just be alone, with no one in this world. Just God watching me from a far...

where will i go...?

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